Okay, so my anniversary is on Wednesday this week. July 28th, 2007, I married the man of my dreams. Well, that isn't necessarily true, because I didn't really have a man of my dreams. I didn't think about getting married or weddings until I was engaged just like I didn't think about kids until I was pregnant. So needless to say, I was a little unprepared.
Unfortunately this years anniversary comes with a tinge of sadness. Well not just a tinge, a lot of sadness. A month and 9 days ago I lost my cousin, Tyson Lane Larson. He was the best of men, and I love him and miss him so much. He was married last year, August 1st to the cutest girl and they were perfect for each other. He was so good to her, really they had a fairytale. They dated 7 years before they got engaged, were engaged for 1 year, and married for 10 months. I can't imagine the pain she is going through. I can't imagine planning on spending the rest of your life with someone and having it cut short. I am learning to thank God everyday for the blessings in my life, my sons, my husband, my family. I am also learning to be aware of how fragile life is and at any given moment I could loose someone else close to me. The only place to go is to Jesus, and leaning on Him and His promises is the only answer.
So this year's anniversary is going to be low key. Not that we really do a ton in the past, one year we went to a resort in the Bahamas for one night while visiting family, and last year we just spent one night in Santa Barbara. This year it is dinner at the Cheesecake Factory (we have a gift certificate!) and a movie, maybe. I am just going to be thankful this year that I have a husband and that he loves me still.
Sorry so serious. But I have to remember Ty. I have to talk about him, it is my therapy. I want people to know how great he was. I want my kids to know of him because they won't ever get to know him. So I might be a little Debbie Downer, but it gets me through. Thanks for listening.
Have you lost someone close to you? How do you cope? Do you ever feel like you shouldn't be happy, or that if I post all these happy things I am moving on with my life and that is wrong? Like there should be some kind of mourning period. I don't know, I am still working through everything. Any thoughts or advice on the subject is welcome.
3 comments:
I actually lost my great uncle less then a month before my son was born. It was a very bittersweet time for us, especially my mom. She was the closest to him, and it broke my heart that I was half way around the world having a baby and I couldn't go comfort her, nor could she come be with me to celebrate. We did remember him though within my son's name.
I'm sorry for your loss. I agree it is so tragic to think you would be with someone for the rest of your life and poof, in seconds your whole world has changed and will never be the same again. I will pray for your family.
"Mourn with those that mourn and weep with those that weep." "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven... a time to weep, and a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance." Don't feel sorry about mourning; there's really no way not to. How could we not mourn the loss of someone like Ty? Will we ever not mourn his loss? I don't think so. But I think the key may be to use the sorrow to motivate us to appreciate what we have and take time to enjoy it rather than always wanting more. So many things we've learned from Ty. God help us as we find our way missing him.
Post a Comment