❤Happy Anniversary❤

Today makes 3 years I have been married to my wonderful husband.  I love him still, three years later.  I know, I know three years is not all that incredible, but I'm of the thought process of taking one day at a time, and I want to celebrate each year that we make it!  Marriage is hard, and I think that people should get awards for making it work.  Specially us :).  The odds have been against us in the past, two different races, cultures, etc.  But we are making it work and constantly adjusting.  

Little collage I put together of our day

Here are my thoughts today.  Most of the hard times in our marriage have been because of my expectations I have of my husband.  I expect him to pay more attention to me.  I expect him to thank me after dinner and be excited to go out and do things.  The reality is: he is different than me.  Not better or worse, but difference.  When I realized that the only person I can change in our relationship is me and that I indeed did need a little work, it helped us tremendously.  When I take a look at myself and think about how I can treat him better, how I can serve him more, and what I can do to help him achieve his goals, we are both helped.  Then in return, he wants to treat me better, listen to me more, and be better for me.  It is a win-win situation.  So that is my goal today.  If I am being honest, it is not always easy.  Sometimes I want to him to change to make me happier.  But it isn't just about me.  It is about us and making it work.  Luckily, we have a lifetime to practice!  

Here are our beautiful wedding invitations:

Custom Invitations done by The Pomegranate Basket

Tonight we will celebrate with dinner at the Cheesecake Factory (we have a gift card) and maybe a movie.  No kiddos involved!!  The last time we were at the Cheesecake Factory was on our honeymoon!  Here's to us!

Lavar Avion Simmons, I love you more today than I did three years ago.  I had no idea the adventures ahead of us, but I can't tell you how thankful I am we took it.  I can't imagine my life without you.  I am so thankful for the man that you are and the man that you are constantly working to become.  You are an excellent husband and father and I am so blessed.  I said when I married you that I would never have to worry and that I would always be taken care of.  I thought I knew it then, but I know it more today than ever.  Everything you do, you are always thinking about me and the boys first.  Some people go their whole lives without experiencing the love that we share.  Thank you baby.  I love you and look forward to many years to come. 

Day 2 of my New Healthy Lifestyle

I am 26 years old, married 3 years and have 2 kids.  It is time to get back into shape.  I have been an athlete my whole life so I have never had to work too hard at staying in shape.  I always had some kind of practice or workout to go to and never had to really motivate myself.  I also had a father who wouldn't let me quit (thank you, daddy!)  I remember after graduating high school I had to train for my first year of collegiate volleyball.  We had just got back from a water ski trip and I must have strained a muscle.  I was supposed to be running sprints but my leg was hurting so bad I couldn't finish.  My dad said to me "Fine, we can go home.  Everyone else is doing their sprints today and you're missing a day, but fine, let's go home."  Well the guilt trip worked, I finished my sprints.  Limping and crying the way through them.  And of course I got home and my mom was mortified that my dad would make me finish.  It might sound like a horrible story to you, but I love it.  I love that my dad never let us quit and always pushed us.  I think I/we (my brothers and I) are better people because of it.  It translates into every aspect of life, being a wife, mommy, work, friendship, you name it.

Anyway, little side tracked, but my point is this: I feel like now is my time.  Now is my time get my body back into shape and learn to lead a healthier lifestyle.  I want to just be a healthy person, I don't want working out to always be a dreaded thing, something I hate doing.  I want it to be a part of who I am.  Now, I love to eat and I love sweets but I want to learn to eat them with moderation.  Like have 1 cookie instead of 5, not cut sweets out entirely.  For me this is reasonable.  I can do this.  I just take one day at a time, do what I set aside for that day and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow!  Here is what I have planned:

Monday, Wednesday, Friday ~ 6:00 wake & devotions, 7:00 work 8:00 feed Eli & go to the gym
Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday ~ 6:30 Run 1 mile, 6:45 stretch & ab workout, 7:15 feed Eli, 7:30 devotions 8:30 start my day

I lost my baby weight right away and since I am tall (6'0") I slimmed down right away.  But I can feel the weight creeping up on me and I can't let it happen.  I know it will be that much harder trying to get it off if I do! (Not to mention my husband is a professional basketball player and is always in shape. ugh.)  So I am starting now.  I want to run with my kids.  I want to be active and fit and feel healthy. 

Well it is Tuesday, day 2 of my quest, and I ran my mile this morning.  So far I have been successful in purposing to do the things I am setting aside to do.  I love the way I feel.  I love feeling organized and accomplishing things.  This might come easy to some people, unfortunately it doesn't to me, so I get excited over my little victories!

Who is with me?  Let's do it together!  Let's be healthier mom's and wives and teach our kids to be active and healthy.  I want my sons to lead a healthy life and it starts with me.

Happy-Sad Anniversary

Okay, so my anniversary is on Wednesday this week.  July 28th, 2007, I married the man of my dreams.  Well, that isn't necessarily true, because I didn't really have a man of my dreams.  I didn't think about getting married or weddings until I was engaged just like I didn't think about kids until I was pregnant.  So needless to say, I was a little unprepared.

Unfortunately this years anniversary comes with a tinge of sadness.  Well not just a tinge, a lot of sadness.  A month and 9 days ago I lost my cousin, Tyson Lane Larson.  He was the best of men, and I love him and miss him so much.  He was married last year, August 1st to the cutest girl and they were perfect for each other.  He was so good to her, really they had a fairytale.  They dated 7 years before they got engaged, were engaged for 1 year, and married for 10 months.  I can't imagine the pain she is going through.  I can't imagine planning on spending the rest of your life with someone and having it cut short.  I am learning to thank God everyday for the blessings in my life, my sons, my husband, my family.  I am also learning to be aware of how fragile life is and at any given moment I could loose someone else close to me.  The only place to go is to Jesus, and leaning on Him and His promises is the only answer.

So this year's anniversary is going to be low key.  Not that we really do a ton in the past, one year we went to a resort in the Bahamas for one night while visiting family, and last year we just spent one night in Santa Barbara.  This year it is dinner at the Cheesecake Factory (we have a gift certificate!) and a movie, maybe.  I am just going to be thankful this year that I have a husband and that he loves me still.

Sorry so serious.  But I have to remember Ty.  I have to talk about him, it is my therapy.  I want people to know how great he was.  I want my kids to know of him because they won't ever get to know him.  So I might be a little Debbie Downer, but it gets me through.  Thanks for listening.

Have you lost someone close to you?  How do you cope?  Do you ever feel like you shouldn't be happy, or that if I post all these happy things I am moving on with my life and that is wrong?  Like there should be some kind of mourning period.  I don't know, I am still working through everything.  Any thoughts or advice on the subject is welcome.

My boys

Here are some new pictures.  Tae is such a good big brother, I am so proud of him.  He loves to 'play' with Eli even though Eli can't really respond.  I continue to hope and pray that they will be good friends growing up. 

 

Look at my handsome boys!

 

Eli Looking right at the camera! Yep, he's a fatty!

 

This one is funny.  Anyone who knows Lavar, knows how he likes watching his movies, TV whatever.  Well this is him and Eli 'watching' together.  Uh-oh, he is started young!  They were watching something on the laptop. 

 

This is my little muscle man.  He got a tattoo.  He was so proud. 

 

Daddy and Tae showing off their tattoos.  Daddy's is soldiers and Tae's is a rocket ship.

 

Brothers

 

He was flexing his muscles.  Funny boy.

I love my boys.  All three.  I am so blessed. 

I need to start making money off these kids!

These are my boys.

   

I think I need to start making money off these kids.  

They are so stinkin cute!

 

He always get so proud of himself when he stands up. Big boy!

 

After swimming. Such a cutie!

 

I mean WOW. Are there words? We make beautiful babies!

 

My muscle man.  It's gonna be weird when he is taller than me, in like a year...

 

I think this is a Gap add or something

 

And my awesome swimmer!  He is like a fish in the summer.  Never wants to be out of the pool.

Okay did I brag about my kids enough?  I think I got it out of my system.  I'm one lucky momma!  Until they eat me out of house and home...

Rekindle Challenge

I loved my high school years.  I was a 2 sport athlete and love my friends.  I went to a small private Christian school and there wasn't really "cool" kids and "nerdy" kids.  There weren't a lot of groups.  It seemed like everyone was just friends.  I liked that.  It was a small school so most everyone knew everyone.  I have two main memories that I am thinking about.  They are general, not really points in time, but I look back with fondness.  First is my family.  Not only did I go to a small private school, but most of my family did as well.  I had 5 older cousins that were one grade above me.  They were awesome athletes and great friends.  We ran the school, but in a good way.  Recently my cousin just passed away and he was one of the best men I know.  He was one of those athletes who was incredible and could play every sport and be awesome at it.  Recently just after his passing his wife got a letter from someone who worked at the school when he was there.  She wrote her and told her how awesome he was and sweet and respectful.  She told her how different he, along with the other boys in that grade, mostly my cousins, were all that way and how now it is so different.  It makes me think about how I want to raise my boys.  They will probably be athletes, daddy is a basketball player and they are both going to be close to 7 feet tall, I want them to be humble and respectful no matter how good they are.  A different breed.

My second best memory is when I was in my senior year of high school.  I played volleyball and had signed to play at The Master's College.  I knew that I needed to do the work out program.  I worked out everyday, sometimes for 4 to six hours of either volleyball, weights, or running.  I was in the best shape of my life.  I was toned and skinny and tight.  I look back at pictures and think, man!  If only!  And now, 10 years and 2 kids later, it just isn't the same.  I still weigh the same but things are as tight as they used to be. :(  I know I could stand to hit the gym a little more, as I am reminded by my lovely husband who is in the gym everyday sometimes twice a day.  The worst part about this is that my husband met me my first year of college.  Back when everything was, you know, a little more snug...  He is always "encouraging" me to work out to get back in shape, which I appreciate, because I want to.  I just tell him though "sorry babe, newsflash: I am never going to look like that again.  I hate to disappoint you!"  I know he means well and just wants me to be happy and I know I would be happier if I was in better shape.  Okay fine, I will start tomorrow!  Well, tomorrow is kinda busy, maybe Thursday.  Wait, Thursday I have to watch my cousin's son, okay Friday.  Wait Friday I have...  diet starts Monday!!

About Me!

My name is Natalia.  I grew up in little Simi Valley, California.  I have two brothers and two amazing parents who are a great example of marriage to me as they have been married for 29 years and still love each other.  I am tall and outspoken but learning to reign it in a little...  I love my God and am thankful for His blessings on me and my family.  I love my husband of three years, although not perfect, he is perfect for me.  And I love my beautiful little boys.  I don't know why the Lord chose to bless me like he has, but I am thankful and give him the glory. 

I met my husband in college 9 years ago.   He is a big black Bahamian basketball player who is oh so cute.  I was dating another guy when I first saw him and I remember thinking "oh man, he is so cute, why am I sitting with this guy right now!"  We started dating a couple months later.  We had a rough road.  Because we were interracial we had a lot of people who didn't agree with our relationship.  It made it really hard on us.  There were two times, junior and senior year during basketball that we were 'forbidden' to talk to each other.  Can you believe it??  I know crazy.  I was never one to get caught up on boys.  I don't remember spending too much time thinking about them or crying about broken relationships, but for some reason Lavar got me.  There was something different about this guy.  I couldn't put my finger on it then, but I know now.  He is perfect for me.  I have a strong personality and tend to run things when I get the chance.  I just take over.  Not really on purpose, I guess it is just a part of me.  Lavar doesn't let that happen.  He is able to take control of situations and be the man and I love it.  I could have never been married to a guy who always gave me everything I wanted no matter what, that would get old!  Lavar gives me what I need, most of the time what I want, and allows me freedom to do what I want.  He will 'put his foot down' if necessary, but trusts my decisions.  If you know me, the phrase 'put his foot down' isn't an easy one to say.  I am borderline feminist (as my husband says) and thought I would never get married because there wouldn't be a guy who could handle me.  Well Lavar handles me.  And it is soooo attractive.  I guess you have to know us personally to really understand how it works, but it does. 

Our first son was born 3 years ago.  He is handsome, funny, full of energy, sensitive, and loving among other things.  Our second son was born almost 3 months ago and he is an angel.  Super cute with his toothless smile and big dimples! 

Why do I blog?

I blog because I have an interesting life.  And I like it.  I think it is different and cool and I would love to share with people. 

What do I blog about:

As I mentioned before, my husband is Bahamian, born and raised.  He has seen things I can't even dream about.  He has had to watch friends die in his arms.  He has bullet wounds and a scar from being stabbed.  I don't know if I have ever seen a real gun.  He is black and I am white.  He is Bahamian and I am American.  As if that isn't enough, we now live between 3 countries: Bahamas, American, and France.  We live a crazy life, and we love it!  I started this blog for a way to keep up with our family and friends all over the world.  Then I realized I have some pretty interesting things to say.  I am different than most mommy bloggers out there.  I think I will write about that stuff.  So I do, I blog about my crazy life.  International flights with toddlers, being a white woman raising black boys, being in an intercultural marriage (as if marriage isn't hard enough!), living in a country where I barely speak the language, and so on. 

What is the biggest reward I get from blogging:

I feel most rewarded when I blog because I live a different, crazy life, but I love it and I am proud of it.  Some people look at me and pitty me a bit, but I love it.  I am proud of my boys, I am proud of my husband, and I love the life we have set up for ourselves. 

How long have I been blogging?
I started blogging in 2007 right before my son was born.

Let's here the story behind my blog title:
I think that the previous paragraphs when describing my life, it is pretty self explanatory where I get my title!  I love our crazy life!!

Thanks for reading! Stay tuned!

Raising the kiddos

I have a little different of a life.  If you didn't know, my husband is from the Bahamas.  He was born and raised there and left home when he was 17 years old.  He was brought up in a different world than I was.  He has been shot and stabbed and I don't know if I have ever seen a real gun...  We grew up in different worlds and now we have to figure out how to make one for our kids.

I want my boys to understand their culture.  After all, they are 50% Bahamian.  And I am essentially a white woman raising two blacks boys.  I don't understand fully what it is like to be a minority and probably never will seeing that we will never permanently live in the Bahamas.  I have had a little taste though.  When people point at you and say "tourist!"  Still not the same, most Bahamians aren't racist. Anyway, we have to combine our philosophies of life to create one for our children.  And I don't know about you all, but it is hard!

The way that my husband grew up was structured for the most part.  His mother was very strict and you DO NOT disrespect mother.  My husband is 6'7", 220 pounds and he still wouldn't think twice about talking back to his mother.  Because he would get slapped.  Once his mother said that if he got his ears pierced that she would start calling him her daughter.  I love it, because she definitely would have.  He did get his ears pierced in high school and then was too afraid to face his mother, so he took it out before he got home.  I respect my mother-in-law.  She is a great example to me as I raise my boys.  I am raising eventual men, not momma's boys.  They will eventually need to leave home and be a man, a head of a household.  She had been able to raise Lavar and let him go and understand that he will never live there again, and she is okay with that.  Because she knows that as a man, that is what he has to do.  She raised a man.

So now we are raising our boys.  Our biggest fights are how strict Lavar is and how I think it is too much.  I want my kids to be tough, but sometimes I just feel... I don't know the mommy in me comes out!  It is so hard to reach a balance.  I am thankful though, because we get compliments about how well behaved he is.  He is a little goodie-twoshoes (sp?) though, gotta work on that! 

They way we work it out: communication.  I guess that is pretty obvious, but sometimes in marriage and raising kids it gets lost somewhere.  We have extra things to worry about and communicate about.  We have two cultures, lifestyles, races, you name it, so we have to extra communicate!  We often take time to talk about situations that have happened with Tae and how I/he would have done it differently and how we can change things.  We try to have these convos without the kids.  It is a constant effort and constantly reevaluating what we are doing and how we are doing it. 

I would love to hear how you mom's out there do it.  I know we have a little extra to work through, but I like to hear about how different families run things and how they work out their relationships with each other and their kids.  Because even if you and your spouse have had similar up bringings, they were still different.  Momma might have had this dish that you just can't perfect.  Or always brought your husband breakfast in bed (ya that's not happening!).  Let's hear it how does your family do it?

How do you do it?

Okay, so I just gotta know, how do you do it?

I recently joined the bloggy mommy world and I see so many women out there with two, three kids and having etsy stores, and managing their blogs and twitters and facebooks.  I don't have a doubt that most of these women are also good mothers and wives.  But I just don't know how people have the time to manage all these things!  I might need some insight, I must not be that organized of a person... hmm I guess that could be my problem. 

I have two boys now.  My younger boy is almost 3 months old.  He is on a pretty good schedule and has been sleeping through the night for a couple weeks now.  No complaints, for sure.  My older son is 3 years old now *sigh* and goes to school two mornings a week.  I try to cram as much as I can into those two mornings, but I can't not do anything (wow a lot of negatives) throughout the rest of the week.  I run a business, Bliss Makeup Artistry, have my two boys, and a husband who eats A LOT of food, and now managing the blogs as well!  Phew, I am already tired just thinking about it!

So I need suggestions!  How do you manage your morning, day, evening?  Do you schedule things in or do them as you have time?  My husband says I need to schedule.  Maybe I do, but I don't really stick to a schedule all that well...  So maybe I need a little discipline too.  I am just super curious to hear how everyone else handles their lives.

So leave a comment.  Let me know what you do.  Give me some advice.  I am always open for advice! It seems like all the moms I meet are supermoms!  Maybe I need a time management class or something...

Remembering

Life had been a little rough the last couple of weeks.  Like you might know we lost our dear cousin, Tyson Larson, 3 weeks ago tomorrow.  What a weird thing.  The night before his death Lindsey, Tyson's incredible wife, happened to bring her camera to one of their basketball games.  She has some incredible pictures of Tyson playing.  Big smiling face, healthy body, just so full of life.  Then the next day he is gone.  It is such a hard thing to think through.  Why Tyson?  He was so young and healthy.  His poor wife, his poor mother and father, his poor siblings.  And yet they are all so strong.  It is inspirational. 

I am just going to say it, I don't know how you can get through a tragedy like that and not cling to the only thing that makes sense.  God is good.  God is sovereign.  God reigns supreme and does things that we don't always understand.  We also know that God never gives us more than we can handle, so he obviously knows that Lindsey is going to be okay, He will take care of her.  His mother, father, sister, and brother are all going to be okay.  He has a higher purpose.  Perhaps it is to call a few more to His own.  Perhaps it is to make a few people think about their lives.  How can you live through this and not.

I know this is a little scattered, but my thoughts are so scattered when I think about it.  Today, like everyday, I am remembering Tyson.  I am remembering his life.  I am remembering God's love for us even when we don't understand.  I love Tyson.  He was one of the most amazing people you could ever know.  I know that looking back at his life and the way he lived it has inspired me to live better.  I believe in Christ as my Savior, but do I live it?  Would someone know that by the way I live?  If the topic comes up, do I shy away?  Where are my standards, how am I raising my boys?  The list of questions can go on and on. And after thinking about it, God had to take someone like Tyson, such an awesome example, for people to think about their lives.  I don't know how many people would be reevaluating things if it was me to go.  WOW I have a few things to change. 

But praise God that we can change and that he knows we are but dust.  Even as I am writing this I am realizing how I put other things before my relationship with God. 

I didn't get to see his body before they closed the casket.  I feel like I would have wanted to.  Because like my brother put it, that wasn't Tyson.  That was just his tent.  It is the tent that his soul used while gracing us on this earth.  Tyson is up there with Jesus without sin.  Smiling his big smile.  Loving people even more than he loved people here.  What a crazy thing to think about. 

I still miss Ty.  It is hard to get back to reality.  It is hard to think that he is really gone.  I still love Ty.  What an incredible person he was, I feel such a pleasure to have known him and to be able to call him family.  I wish all of you could have known him.  I think we all would have been better for it.

Juggling

I have a lot going on.  I can't stay still and I need to learn to manage my time better.  I have two wonderful boys.  Tae is just a bundle of energy who needs to spend most of the day outside.  Then there is Eli who doesn't do much yet, but today he gave me a run for my money!  Lavar is out of town a lot lately and I am running a business!  The problem is that I LOVE all of those things!  I love love love my husband, I love love love my boys, and I love running my business.  I didn't feel like I could put another two loves on business, because they really don't compare to my boys.  But it is fun and it is another way to bring in a little money and flex some independence.  So I am juggling.  Waking up early and staying up late and trying to spend all the in between time with my family.  I know I need to focus on my boys mostly for now because they wont' be this age forever.  And they are fun, and it is fun to make them happy.  Such as the life of a mommy.  I feel like I am constantly trying to find the balance between all these things so that no one gets jipped (sp?).  Maybe that is why I married my husband.  He takes life one thing at a time and never really over extends himself.  Talk about opposites.  Keeps me sane though!